My husband has been using a standard line of reasoning over the past 39 weeks whenever I complained about my body – “well, Lorraine, your body is going through some changes…” To capture these "changes", I have renamed some of my body parts to help keep things in perspective and to stay on the lighter side of fretfulness. For your pleasure, allow me to share a few:
My fingers = sausage links
These were served up to me rather recently. They are plump little fellows that aren’t necessarily sizzling but they are tingling!
My arms = orangutan limbs
Already long, my arms feel very heavy as though they are being pulled downward. I might as well be dragging my knuckles on the ground like the evolutionary early man.
My breasts = cantaloupes
Not accustomed to being voluptuous, this is the least appealing change to my body. What good is it in having an increase in size when everything else on my body is growing at a rapid rate as well? There is nothing sexy about it.
My feet = baked potatoes
I must thank my cousin-in-law, Shirley, as she coined this one. This is the perfect description of these wide, plump things that have taken over the nice petite little bony feet I used to have.
I’ll be sure to share these delightful observations with Lauren over the course of her lifetime. I find that I'm thanking my mom a lot lately.
No comments:
Post a Comment