Lauren Speaks

...and apparently is washing her hands (literally) of a few things (see video below). My level of fluency in speaking "Laurenese" is still not too proficient but I believe she may be saying the following:

"Hark my fellow global citizens - allow me the kindness of your consideration. You see by my body contortion that I am a 'flexible' person not only physically but also of character as my mommy tells me I am agreeable most of the time. However, I must reprobate certain acts of malfeasance from individuals who clearly have just got it wrong in the following instances:

- Paul Wolfowitz, as president of the World Bank (and former co-architect of the Iraqi war), continues the Bush administration's smearing of American global credibility with his cronyism and double standards by giving his girlfriend, who also worked at the World Bank, a fat raise and double promotion to the State Department. I wash my hands of this fool!

(dramatic pause)

- It's clear that ol' George "Dubya" will never own up to the catastrophic results of a foreign policy lacking in realism and genuine good will. I wash my hands of all the mess he's caused around the globe!

- It doesn't matter that the Yankees are 13.5 games out of first place behind the Red Sox right now. There's plenty of games left in the season for a traditional Boston meltdown and NY resurgence. I wash my hands of all nay-sayers out there!

- I just don't like having baby food peas as part of my daily haute cuisine. When will my mommy and daddy realize that it just simply isn't pleasing to my palate?! I wash my hands of yucky baby food!

So many things that I just can't comprehend right now. At times, I wish I could just cover my eyes (literally) and let it pass. OK, I am now tired and want to take my nap. Thank you for your attention."

OK, I'm not 100% sure of what Lauren said but I hope I was close. *grin*. Check it out: